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There are videos that you watch and then have to take a moment to process. That’s exactly how we felt about tomatolix’s undercover experiment: He applies to be a chat moderator and shows how some dating platforms use fictitious profiles to keep users in the chat as long as possible, earning money through coins/credits.

This is not an argument against online dating itself. On the contrary: Online dating can be a wonderful opportunity if it is honest, transparent, and respectful. But that’s exactly why it’s worth knowing the mechanisms that, in some corners of the market, are not designed for real encounters.

A job that sounds “too good” – and that’s exactly why it works

In the video, everything starts with something that seems harmless at first glance: job ads that promise you can chat “from anywhere,” work flexibly, and get paid per message. It almost sounds like a side job for students or people who want to earn something on the side.

But even in the training, it becomes clear: The job is not about supporting real users. But to appear as a flirtatious single, keep conversations going, and write in a way that seems as “authentic” as possible. With stories from everyday life, small details, humor. Just like people write when they have genuine interest.

And that’s exactly where it gets difficult: Because on the other side are users who believe they are writing with a real person.

The existence of such models has been a topic for consumer organizations for years. The consumer advice center explicitly warns against fake profiles and “professional chat partners” that are used in some portals. Often, these profiles are not clearly recognizable to users and a real acquaintance is then practically impossible.

Coins, pressure, and don’t leave the chat

What tomatolix makes particularly clear in the video: Many of these platforms are not about “premium membership,” but about payment per message. The model is simple:

Registration is free
You get a few “Free Coins”
Something happens immediately: messages, likes, attention
And as soon as you are emotionally “in,” every message costs coins

In the video, tomatolix calculates that a single message can end up costing around 2 euros, depending on the package. This suddenly makes it clear why “always keep writing” is so important in the system.

On the moderator side, there is a completely different pressure: The system demands speed. Anyone who answers too slowly will be warned, in the worst case even logged out or blocked. Quality? Empathy? It plays a role in individual chats, but the goal remains: as much output as possible.

And then there is another central point: Switching to WhatsApp, Instagram, or telephone is blocked. Not necessarily because you want “security,” but because no more coins flow outside the system.

Why is it so hard to notice as a user?

That’s the perfidious thing: These apps often look like completely normal dating apps. Good ratings, pretty design, a swipe system, profiles, matches. Everything seems familiar.

However, anyone who reads the fine print will sometimes find formulations such as:

“fictitious profiles”
“professional chat partners”
“Controllers” / “Moderators”

But many people don’t read terms and conditions. And if the information is also hidden, you only notice it when money has already been spent or when you wonder why a meeting never happens.

This very lack of transparency has also been criticized in court. The vzbv (Verbraucherzentrale Bundesverband) has accompanied several proceedings in which courts have made it clear: If there are fake profiles or paid chat partners, this must be clearly and distinctly recognizable and not hidden somewhere deep in the terms and conditions.

What courts specifically object to: If the purpose is not achievable

A particularly strong idea from the case law is: Users pay for a dating platform in the expectation of meeting real people. But if a relevant part of the communication runs via fictitious profiles and these profiles do not allow any real meetings, the actual purpose is missed.

The Flensburg Regional Court has ruled (in a case accompanied by the vzbv) that a dating portal may not use fake profiles if the portal gives the impression that it is about real singles and real getting to know each other.

You can also find a well-understandable classification here: Smartlaw – “Use of fake profiles on dating platform inadmissible”

The moment that sticks: 613 days of chat and no real chance

In the video, there is a scene that brings the whole thing emotionally to the point: tomatolix sees a chat in which a user has been writing for 613 days with a profile that is operated by different moderators. In addition, there are enormous sums: the video also mentions the example of a “regular customer” who has invested over 60,000 euros.

Coins and costs per message as a warning sign

And that’s exactly where it tips from “questionable” to “really bad.” Because from this point on, it’s no longer about occasional chat entertainment. It’s about people who become emotionally attached, build hope, perhaps even feel a kind of relationship, and pay for it over months or years without realistically ever achieving a real acquaintance.

This dynamic is also described in journalistic research: People are picked up in their longing for closeness, get quick feedback and then stay in a system that feeds economically exactly from it.

How big is the problem really?

Now it is important: One must not deduce from this that online dating is generally “fake”. That would be unfair to serious platforms and to the many people who actually get to know each other honestly online.

But: The fact that there is a relevant market area that works with fictitious profiles is well documented. In a background paper of the consumer organizations, it is described that in a research 187 online dating portals were identified, which according to their conditions use fictitious profiles.

That doesn’t mean that every big dating app works that way. But it means: There are enough providers where you should look very closely.

How to recognize such portals

You don’t have to go through life suspiciously. But a few clear warning signs* help enormously:

1) Payment per message (coins/credits): If every message costs coins, the system has an interest in you not getting to real contact quickly. That’s the biggest red alarm.

2) Switching to WhatsApp/phone is consistently prevented: If there are constant excuses or they want to actively keep you in the system, that’s not a good sign.

3) Meetings always remain “in prospect” but never become concrete: “Soon”, “later”, “next week” – but never a real date, never a clear plan.

4) Terms and conditions contain terms such as “fictitious profiles”, “moderators”, “controllers”: These are classic trigger words. The consumer advice center mentions exactly such formulations as an indication of fictitious profiles.

What we take away from this at DuoLivo

We believe in online dating. Really. But we do not believe in systems that keep people in hope, while the algorithm in the background only asks: “How long does he stay in the chat?”

That’s why it’s clear for us at DuoLivo:

No coins per message. Conversations are not a money machine.
Transparent rules and clear prices without hidden mechanics.
An environment in which real getting to know each other is not only possible, but the goal.

Because in the end it is about something very human: trust. And that does not arise through pressure, tricks or fictitious profiles, but through honesty, respect and clarity.

Online dating yes – but please with open eyes

The tomatolix video shows a model that is not designed for real encounters, but for permanent chat. And the sources of consumer advice center and vzbv make it clear: This is not only morally difficult, but can also be legally problematic, especially if the hints are hidden and users are deliberately misled.

If you use online dating, then take these 2 minutes extra time: