Spotting romance scams: seven patterns that keep repeating

It almost always starts out friendly. A message from someone who seems interested in you, listens well, and gets in touch when they said they would. That is exactly what makes it difficult: at the beginning, this type of fraud does not look like fraud, but like what you would hope for. Romance scams—known in German as “Liebesbetrug”—do not work through technology. They work through time and trust.

In this article, we show what Swiss crime statistics say about these cases, which seven patterns can help you spot a scam before any money is sent, and what to do if something has already happened.

What the numbers show

Since 2021, the Police Crime Statistics (PCS) have recorded romance scams separately. In 2021, 776 cases with 714 victims were recorded, and only just over one eighth of them were solved. Since then, the number of reports has remained at around 650 per year.

For 2025, the Federal Statistical Office recorded a total of 57,761 offences involving digital methods, including 54,247 in the area of cyber economic crime. Regarding the breakdown, the statistics note two points that matter to our readership: In romance scams, 54.8% of victims were female, and the age group most affected was those over 60. Back in 2022, SRF, citing the crime statistics, already noted that most victims were over 50.

However, these figures only show part of the picture. There are two reasons for this:

• The number of unreported cases is high.Fabian Ilg, Managing Director of Swiss Crime Prevention, cites deep emotional hurt and shame as the main reasons why many cases are not reported at all. Many affected people also cling to hope for a long time and do not want to accept that it is a scam. The
• Solving the cases is difficult. The perpetrators are almost always abroad and work in a division of labour. Once money has been transferred, it can rarely be recovered.

How much money is involved is shown by a cantonal example: in the canton of Aargau, 59 reports were filed in 2024, with a total loss of more than three million Swiss francs. So it is rarely about small amounts.

There is also good news: after several years of prevention work, the same cantonal police force has observed declining loss amounts and attributes this at least partly to its campaign. Awareness works. That is why this article exists.

Why the scam works on people over 50

First, because this point is often told incorrectly: those affected are not naive. They are not caught off guard, but systematically manipulated over weeks and months. Anyone who receives daily attention over a long period develops trust. That is not a weakness—it is normal.

Two factors still make this age group more attractive to perpetrators. First, people over 50 are more often in life phases that are visible from the outside: after a separation, after the loss of a partner, after retirement. The Aargau cantonal police cite loneliness as a recurring theme among those affected. This is not a reproach, but a description of what perpetrators deliberately target. Second, at this stage of life, savings are more often available at short notice. Victims are not chosen at random.

The seven patterns

No single sign proves fraud. But these seven points recur so regularly in documented cases that three of them together are a clear warning sign.

1. The first contact comes from outside. Many cases do not start on a dating site, but via social networks or messengers: an unexpected friend request on Facebook, a direct message on Instagram, sometimes an SMS that was supposedly sent to the wrong number. On a platform with sign-up checks, the effort is higher for perpetrators, so they switch to channels without oversight.
2. The feelings come too fast. After just a few days, they talk about being soulmates; after two weeks, about a future together. This acceleration is deliberate: once you are emotionally attached, you check less. Genuine dating over 50 moves more slowly, more cautiously, and with more follow-up questions. We described how much time is usually normal in a separate article.
3. They push to switch channels early. After a short time, they want to continue the conversation on WhatsApp, Telegram, or email. The reason is phrased kindly, but the effect is decisive: outside the platform there is no moderation, no reporting function, and no trail that someone could review.
4. Their biography explains the distance. Doctor with an international organisation, engineer on an oil rig, soldier on deployment abroad, art dealer travelling. The jobs change, but the function stays the same: the story must make it plausible why this person is far away, earns well, and yet cannot access their money right now.
5. A meeting never happens. Plans fall through at short notice; video calls are avoided, cut off, or seem strange. With AI-generated images and videos, this pattern has become harder to spot, but it remains the toughest test: anyone who, over months, never allows a spontaneous video call or a meeting has a reason for it.
6. The first request for money is small. A customs issue, a medical bill, a blocked account, a plane ticket. The first amount is low enough that saying no would seem petty. Then come further, larger requests. In a common variant today, it is not about an emergency at all, but about an allegedly safe investment, often involving cryptocurrencies: a small payout actually works and serves as “proof” before the large amount disappears.
7. They want the money to go through your account. The most consequential pattern comes last and is often overlooked. Victims are asked to forward payments, accept parcels, or make their account available. Anyone who does this becomes an unintentional part of the offence and may end up facing criminal proceedings themselves. Swiss Crime Prevention explicitly warns about this variant.

What is not a warning sign

Just as important as recognising a scam is not treating every irregularity as fraud. These things are not suspicious on their own:

• Someone lives abroad or travels a lot for work. That happens. It only becomes suspicious when it is used as the reason why a video call is never possible.
• Someone writes with mistakes or seems inexperienced. Not everyone is a confident writer, and not everyone is writing in their first language.
• Someone is reserved on the first video call. Many people are camera-shy. What matters is whether it stays that way on the second and third attempt.
• Someone talks about difficult times. Being open about loss or illness is part of getting to know someone over 50. It only becomes a pattern when it leads to a request for money.

What you can check yourself

Four quick checks that take little time and clarify a lot:

• Do a reverse image search. Profile photos can be checked via image search. If the same face appears under a different name, that is the end of it.
• Suggest a video call early. Not framed as a test, but as what it is: the wish to get to know their voice and face.
• Cross-check details. Employer, place of residence, profession. Genuine information stands up to friendly questions; invented details lead to contradictions.
• Get a second opinion. Tell someone you trust. Perpetrators rely on exclusivity and ask for discretion early on. That is exactly what should make you alert.

And the principle that makes everything else unnecessary: Anyone you met online and have never met in person does not get any money. No exceptions, regardless of the story.

If something has already happened

First, the most important thing: a crime has been committed against you. The responsibility lies with the perpetrators. These steps can help:

• End contact and do not continue the discussion. Explanations only lead to new stories.
• Inform your bank immediately. With very recent payments, it may still be possible to stop something.
• Secure evidence: chat histories, profiles, payment receipts, and the other party’s account details.
• File a report with the cantonal police. Even if solving the case is difficult, the information feeds into investigations that often involve multiple cantons.
• Talk to someone you trust. Shame is why many cases are never reported, and staying silent rarely makes it easier.
• Beware of the second wave: anyone who contacts you after a scam and offers to recover the money in return for an advance payment is part of the same scam.

What we do at DuoLivo

We manually review every registration before a profile becomes visible, and we do not approve all of them. We have written openly about what this looks like in practice and the numbers behind it. But we are equally clear about what screening cannot do: it keeps fake profiles out to a large extent, but it cannot stop someone from moving a conversation to another channel. That is why pattern 3 applies on our platform as well. Stay on the platform until you feel confident, and report anything suspicious to us. Every report is reviewed.

Conclusion: Caution is not distrust

Romance scams work because they target something healthy: the willingness to trust someone. You do not have to give up that willingness. It is enough to know the patterns and stick to one clear line: no money to people you have never met in person. If you do that, you can stay open, stay curious, and still stay safe.

👉 Discover DuoLivo now—the Swiss dating platform for people over 50.

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